An extensive and comprehensive look at Borderline Personality Disorder, I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus opens readers to the world of BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder is classified as a mental health disorder affecting the way you think and feel about yourself and others – impacting how you function in everyday life. It includes a pattern of intense and unstable relationships, distorted self-image, extreme emotions and impulsiveness.
This book not only carries us through the world and life of someone with BPD, it shows the similarities and differences to other illnesses such as anxiety disorders, personality disorders like schizophrenia, and affective disorders such as depression and bipolarism. The authors also explore the nature versus nurture roots of the disorder.
I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me is filled with case studies and narratives of BPD patients. I think those who have been diagnosed with or love someone who has BPD will relate to many of the individuals and families portrayed within multiple chapters. It may be comforting to know that you are not suffering alone and that there are others out there battling the same thoughts and feelings. Most of all, there is help available and with time and work, change can come.
A bit clinical in the beginning and a bit technical at times, particularly in the chapter on psychotherapy treatments, readers may find themselves in a little deep. But hang in and push through because the healing chapter at the end is well worth it.
An additional note for those who usually close the book after the last chapter and never check out the appendices, Appendix B is actually an interesting discussion of how the borderline personality disorder diagnosis evolved. If you are interested in the history of psychiatric diagnosis or have been diagnosed with BPD, it’s something worth reading.
If I had to offer some criticism of this book, it would be that it is a bit dated (written in 1989). However, I do find it to be a very thorough look at BPD – even thirty years later.
Whether you’re in the psychology field, are a practicing therapist, struggle with BPD or love someone who does, you will find I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me to be informative and a great resource toward understanding this disorder and in helping to stop the pain of it. After all, isn’t healing the goal of everyone?