Collaborative Divorce

A Different Way to Move Forward

For many families, the word divorce immediately brings to mind conflict, courtrooms, and drawn-out battles.

And unfortunately… that’s often the reality.

As a therapist and child custody mediator/evaluator, I’ve had a front-row seat to the traditional divorce process. I’ve seen how quickly things can escalate – And how the system itself can sometimes intensify conflict rather than resolve it.

Too often, children are caught in the middle. Too often, families leave the process with wounds that last far beyond the divorce itself. It doesn’t have to be that way.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Divorce is a structured, team-based process designed to help couples move through divorce without going to court.

Instead of taking adversarial positions, both individuals commit to working together toward resolution – With the support of trained professionals guiding the process.

The goal is not just to end a marriage…
but to do so in a way that protects your future, your children, and your ability to move forward with dignity.

My Role in the Process

I am trained in Collaborative Divorce and a member of the Sacramento Collaborative Divorce community.

In this role, I serve as a neutral divorce coach, working with both individuals to:

Reduce conflict and emotional escalation
Support productive communication
Help both parties stay engaged in the process
Keep the focus on long-term outcomes – Especially for children

My role is not to take sides or provide therapy, but to help create the conditions where good decisions can be made.

How Is This Different From Other Divorce Options?

There are several ways couples move through divorce:

Self-Represented (Self-Serve)

Couples attempt to navigate the process on their own. While this can work in simple cases, it often becomes overwhelming when conflict or complexity increases.

Litigation

Each person hires an attorney and the case moves through the court system.
This often involves:

Being formally served
Court hearings
Ongoing legal conflict
Decisions made by a judge

This process can take months – or even years – and often increases tension between parties.

Mediation

A neutral mediator helps facilitate agreement.
This can be effective, but may not provide enough support when emotional intensity or communication breakdowns are present.

Collaborative Divorce

A team-based approach that combines structure, support, and accountability.

No court involvement
No being “served”
No prolonged legal battles
A guided process with trained professionals

Both parties commit to working toward resolution outside of litigation, with the support of a collaborative team that may include attorneys, financial specialists, and a divorce coach.

A Process Designed for Families

Collaborative Divorce is especially valuable for families with children.

Rather than creating a win/lose dynamic, the process focuses on:

Stability for children
Respectful co-parenting relationships
Long-term family functioning

Because at the end of the day, while a marriage may end…
a family does not.

What the Process Can Look Like

Each case is unique, but the collaborative process typically includes:

A series of structured meetings
Open, guided discussions around key decisions
Support in navigating emotional and relational challenges
Development of agreements that reflect the needs of both individuals and the family

And in many cases, families choose to mark the transition in a meaningful way.

Some even hold a simple closing ceremony – Symbolizing the end of one chapter and the beginning of another—sometimes as simple as releasing balloons with their children as a way of acknowledging the change and looking forward together.

Final Thought

If you’re considering divorce and want to explore a more constructive path forward, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

You’re welcome to reach out directly to discuss your options and whether Collaborative Divorce may be a good fit for your situation.

You can also learn more by attending a monthly online informational meeting hosted by the Sacramento Collaborative Divorce community, where the process is explained in greater detail and you can hear directly from the professionals involved.

Learn More About Upcoming Meetings – Sacramento Collaborative Divorce

Or, if you’re not yet sure whether divorce is the right step: Learn More About Discernment Counseling