Whew! I don’t think any of us could have predicted the happenings of 2020. I saw a meme on social media that said in 2015, we ALL answered wrong to the question: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” HA! That could not be more true. Unforeseen events and unpredictable seasons are certainly a roller coaster ride, but they can teach us a lot about ourselves, others, and society as a whole.
In the spirit of embracing a positive outlook on our circumstances and since promoting growth and healing is kind of my thing (being a counselor and all), I’ve decided to compile a list of the top 10 things I’ve learned during this pandemic. Think of it as being like the old David Letterman Top 10 lists – Coronavirus Edition.
10 Things This Pandemic Has Taught Me
This is not a full list and nor is it in any specific order. I’m sure you can add to it and I hope you will in the comments below. Let’s remember that we all experience situations differently. Same storm, but different boats.
1. Home IS where the heart is.
The people we live with see the best and the worst of us – and somehow still love us. That’s what a home should look like. I mean, who else can see you in the same pajamas four days straight and still want to sit next to us on the couch to binge watch Netflix? I hope we all have a deeper appreciation for the family we live with and their grace, patience, and understanding with us. (By the way, have you showered yet today?)
And it’s not just the people in our home. I have a greater gratitude for the house itself. Our homes have been the four walls we’ve sought safety and security in for the last few months. I know a lot of people have taken this time to finally tackle home improvement projects they’ve been putting off. Some of your yards have never looked so beautiful! Others have taken up gardening or done an intense spring cleaning and decluttering of their homes.
So, home takes on a deeper meaning for me. While the world seems chaotic and uncertain, there is a place to resort to with people I love immensely and who love me in return. As Dorothy Gail said in her red, ruby slippers (of course, we are all sticking with house slippers these days), “There’s no place like home.”
2. You CAN teach old dogs new tricks.
Technology. Love it or hate it, most of us have had to up our game in it. I’m fairly certain ‘Zoom’ has become a household name by now. For years we’ve discussed the advantages and disadvantages of technology and social media, but 2020 was its year to shine.
Let’s take education for example. Teachers have adapted to a whole new way of teaching. And even if they (and their students) don’t necessarily like virtual school, it has forced everyone to learn to be flexible, pursue new methods of instructional delivery, have patience with one another and grow their abilities. Teachers are demonstrating to us all that learning never stops as they themselves learn to do their jobs in a new way. Bravo educators.
Being forced to work from home has forced people to find new ways to monitor productivity, market their products, and perform their jobs. Think about the ways you’ve advanced your skill set during this pandemic. (Take note on your resume of those skills too.) Even churches have had to find new ways to hold services. Many have started online ministries that will continue even after they begin meeting in person again.
3. We should’ve bought stock in toilet paper.
For the life of me, I will never understand this one. But, I’d give anything to have purchased shares of stock in the major toilet paper companies before this began. I’d be retired right now!
In all seriousness, this pandemic has taught me a new appreciation for the most basic of items – like toilet paper. When the store’s shelves went empty for months on staple items, we had to learn to use things sparingly (or get to the store at opening hours on delivery days). In a culture of plenty and overuse, it was a good reminder to not waste. (Maybe the Europeans are onto something with the whole bidet thing too?)
4. Masks are the 2020 fashion.
I’ve never considered myself to be a trendy guy. Presentable, yes, but nothing GQ worthy. But, almost all of us are rocking the hippest fashion of 2020 – face masks. And might I say, some of you have taken it to the next level on your designs. They’ve literally become fashionable with fancy designs and comfort ear loops.
It’s been fun to try to recognize people behind their masks at the grocery store. (I think that’s John but I can’t quite tell.) You know what I hope is the biggest fashion trend of 2021? A smile. I miss seeing those behind your masks.
Also, I feel like I should make some sort of metaphoric statement about the figurative masks we wear, but I’ll save that for another article.
5. Human contact may never be the same again.
Are you a hugger? Is this pandemic torturing you then? And how long after this pandemic will it take to stop standing 6 feet apart from people? Will we ever invade one another’s personal space again?
I have learned to keep my physical distance from people during this pandemic. I’m not sure I’m thrilled about learning this particular lesson. I do know that I will have an even greater appreciation for seeing a client walk in my office and comfortably sit down on the couch to talk to me. And I will embrace the long standing tradition of a good old-fashioned handshake – when we can again.
6. Being busy isn’t necessary.
Family calendars went from crammed full to wide open in a week’s time frame. Things we thought we needed to do or had to do suddenly became unimportant. Those who took pride in how many activities they participated in have now found out they don’t necessarily need all of that to be happy.
I hope that when this is done that parents re-evaluate how many activities they put their kids in. I hope they continue in those they are passionate about and let go of those that are just time fillers. I hope that instead of feeling like we need to keep up with the Jones, that we instead embrace a greater simplicity. Who ever said more was better? What if the pandemic taught us that less is better???
I know that my family has taken a hard look at those things we took for granted and miss, and we look forward to enjoying them again. But, we’ve also identified those things that drained us of our time and energy and are choosing to pull an Elsa and let it go (that little pun was for all of you stuck at home watching Frozen on repeat with small children)!
7. Helpers will always show up.
It’s so easy to fixate on the negative – to be all consumed with what’s going wrong. I hear it from clients in my office every day. But, when we can shift our focus to what’s right and what’s good, there is a whole new level of healing and health that will come to us.
Throughout this pandemic, the media has bombarded us with bad news after bad news. But, if we look past the noise and chaos, we will see a special kind of light that cannot be put out. It’s the helpers. I have been blown away by the amount of generosity, service, and love given by so many people. Human beings valuing human beings and doing something to help meet basic needs. And it’s beautiful.
From our front line workers who risk their own safety and health to serve the sick to the stay at home mom who opened her home up to extra kids when essential employees needed childcare after schools closed so they could go to work. People will do amazing things to help one another out and I hope I never forget every face and story of those who delivered groceries to elderly who didn’t need to go out to the stores, paid a utility bill for a family laid off due to the pandemic, and spent hours in their basements sewing masks so people could protect themselves. Your heart is the type that brings healing.
8. Eating out is NOT why we gained weight.
You know how all the diet plans talk about not eating out and instead eating at home more? As it turned out, that didn’t work out so well for the pandemic. Similar to the freshman fifteen, a lot of us are experiencing the quarantine fifteen. Restaurants were closed, yet we still gained weight.
I’ve learned that it’s not necessarily all about what I eat, but WHY I eat. Boredom eating, snacking, and emotional eating are definitely culprits to many people’s weight gain during this pandemic. Plus, the gyms are closed, so that doesn’t help our figures.
What I have learned is to step away from the pantry and go for a walk instead when I’m bored or upset. And when eating out becomes normal again (something I look forward to), I’m going to have the most courteous smile for my waiter or waitress. (Tip well, folks. They’ve been out of work too.)
9. We cannot do it all.
And nor should we feel like we need to. We have all had a ton put on our plates (most of which we didn’t ask for) and have somehow found a way to juggle the important things. Give yourself a pat on the back for that. (I’d high five you, but, you know, social distancing and all.)
Parents are juggling their jobs – from home and from the office – while helping their kids with virtual schoolwork. We’re learning to live on less. Now is the time to show yourself and others a whole new level of compassion and grace.
Congratulate the person on facebook who found time to take up a new hobby and master it or the person who read through an entire book series and posted their accomplishment for all of us. That’s awesome – for them. Don’t compare yourself. If you woke up today and produced some work, fed your kids, and made sure your spouse knew you loved them, then well done!! Everything else can wait.
10. We valued the wrong things.
We suddenly realized we placed importance on the wrong things when we saw how much more we needed our grocery store employees than we did celebrities or sports superstars. I hope we all remember this when the pandemic is over.
The fancy cars have sat idle. The coliseums are empty. The board members have taken off their suits and ties. Instead, Facetime calls to grandmas and grandpas have become important. Instead of elaborate birthday parties, we are driving by with posters and waves for birthday parades – and thrilled to do so! Gathering in the kitchen for meals has become the norm. Families are taking walks in the neighborhood instead of running from one place to the next.
Yes, this pandemic has reminded me of what matters most, who matters most, and what deserves recognition and applause. When tough times hit, the ones who are there for us, the people who help meet needs, and the things that bring the greatest joy – it’s these things that we need to value…now and after this pandemic.
How are you holding up during this pandemic? What have you learned? What would you add to this list? Many have struggled in a variety of ways throughout this pandemic and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Please reach out for help. I am here and I want to help. I am still meeting clients in office and remotely via Telehealth. We will not only survive this together, but we will find a way for you to thrive!